Dolph Chaney

Shenanigans (2013) 

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Please to enjoy my latest album in the format of your choice -- high-quality mp3, lossless FLAC, or CD!  Downloads are available immediately; if you pre-order the CD, you'll get the download now (your choice of mp3 or FLAC) and the physical version as soon as I can get it to you.  (CD availability estimate: December 2013)

 

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Track List:

01. Two Simple Rules 3.34
02. Lean A Little (In The Turns) 3.29
03. 10-4ii 2.42
04. Let's Just Not Be Friends 4.10
05. Good Luck With All That 3.06
06. Tears Are Proof 4.36
07. The Stand 3.53
08. Faint 5.00
09. I Call Shenanigans 2.24
10. Prime 0.51
11. 10-4 8.06
12. Be Nice To Me

2.24

 

Humanely and locally raised at Studio Dolphty, Homewood, IL.

Seeds planted, fertilized and watered 2008-2013.

Harvested 16th October 2013 with a Fostex MR16 and a Dell laptop with Audacity software.

Ingredients: voice, Groove Tubes GT55 microphone, Takamine EG-10 acoustic guitar, Realistic Moog MG-1 Concertmate analog synthesizer, Fender Squier Precision bass, Pearl Rhythm Traveler drum kit w/ Meinl hi-hat, Washburn J-6 Montgomery hollowbody electric guitar, E-bow, Fender Squier Tele electric guitar, Electra Invicta electric guitar w/ Washburn Wonderbar, Boulder Creek Riptide tenor ukulele.

Spice rack: Ibanez DE-7 delay/echo unit, Boss GT-3, dbx 286A mic preamp / compressor, Nady EQ, Ibanez Tube Screamer, Ibanez Smash Box, Danelectro Tuna Melt Tremolo.

 

 

~~~ WHINE LIST ~~~

 

Two Simple Rules

It's great to see you
I'm really glad you came along
Just a couple things you should know,
so I put 'em in a song
You're perfect how you are,
but let me be perfectly clear:
there's just two things you're not
allowed to do in here --

No smoking
and no evangelism
in my house.

She used to smoke every now and then,
and I used to thump my Bible with the best of them
but it just wasn't true
to who
we are.

I love my smoker friends
I love my churchy friends too
Just don't come in my house
and make me share that stuff with you
You can bring your beer
You can even bring lysergics
Just don't smoke or preach in here
'cause we're a couple of allergics.

No smoking
and no evangelism
in my house.

And when you take
it outside
buddy I implore --
you don't
have to hide
just don't take it door to door.

It seeps into the couches,
soaks the clothes all through,
gets all in our hair and everywhere,
and spoils the atmosphere too.
And we don't wanna put on airs,
so let's keep the air clear:
there's just two things you're not
allowed to do in here --

No smoking
and no evangelism
in my house.

She used to smoke every now and then,
and I used to thump my Bible with the best of them
but it just wasn't true
to who
we are.

It's been great to see you
I'm really glad you came along
Just a couple things you should remember,
so I put 'em in a song
You're perfect how you are,
but let me be perfectly clear:
there's just two things you're not
allowed to do in here --

No smoking
and no evangelism
in my house.

(21 October 2011)

~~~*****~~~

Lean A Little (In The Turns)

The chain of tension click by click
just like a ratchet
If you'd just let yourself be caught,
you'd be a catch, it-

's a crazy roller coaster
but I learn bit by bit what to do
I lean a little closer
in the turns just to get next to you

As years go by, it's easy
to get lost and hectic
But you & I still find
the spark that turns electric

I revel in the texture
of your arm as I brush against your sleeve
I lean a little extra
in the turns and pray you never leave

The stress, the emphasis can
cause us to unravel
But when we fly, we are
the only way to travel

We soar above the harbor,
and I learn what my heart wants to do
I lean a little harder
in the turns to get closer to you
I revel in the texture
of your arms as I brush against your sleeve
I lean a little extra
in the turns and pray you never leave
's a crazy roller coaster
but I learn bit by bit what to do
I lean a little closer
in the turns to get closer to you

(16-24 March 2013)

~~~*****~~~

10-4ii (instrumental)

~~~*****~~~

Let's Just Not Be Friends

You stab your sushi rice and
say I should move on.
I get the message as I
play with my udon.
You let me down so easy,
said "let's keep in touch..."
These days of parting ways just
blow oh so so much.

I don't wanna come to your church
after getting left in the lurch
I'll abstain from your complaining
as the waning sun descends.
I don't wanna write you a letter
when it only makes you feel better
while it pulls over my eyes wool/cotton blends
so let's just not be friends.

Though I still hold you in the
highest of esteem,
it pales to how I sometimes
hold you in my dreams.
You said "time heals all wounds,"
you said "all things must pass".
You stay in touch so much; why
did you dump my ass?

I don't wanna come to your hideout;
I don't wanna run like a wide-out,
straining to locate your passes
while our glasses follow trends.
I don't wanna blab on the phone
I don't wanna co-sign your loan,
don't wanna smile at you and just have to pretend,
so let's just not be friends.

I'll never miss the lack
of trust and faith you mustered
I used to miss your rack
but your bust has lost its lustre.

You said you wanted a nice boy to kiss
so I was nice and kissed you.
Cupid loaded up a double-shot;
one hit me and both missed you.

I don't wanna come to your wedding
I don't wanna shop for the bedding
that you'll share with my replacement
'til this basement marriage ends.
I don't wanna send you an e-mail;
I just wanna squeeze my new female --
moving on, back on the horse and on the mend,
so let's just not be friends.

(17 July 2009)

~~~*****~~~

Good Luck With All That

I don't want to screw this up
in the morning
but I'm mourning
every loss
Every cup
of Irish breakfast,
me a wreck, just
give a toss

me a bone
chilling
alone
willing

I'm not undone --
just done
with being a diplomat
And now she's yours --
all yours --
so good luck with all that.

I pray not to screw this up
in the attic
feel the static
from the floor
manage - hup
to the bedroom
not much headroom
in this drawer

there's a key
changing
it is me
estranging

I'm not undone --
just done
with being an acrobat
And now she's yours --
all yours --
so good luck with all that.

I tried not to screw this up.

(17 November 2007; 10 February 2013)

~~~*****~~~

Tears Are Proof

It's not fair for you sometimes to have to coddle
me while I get lost inside a bourbon bottle
I just feel so empty, baby,
and my tears are proof
My tears are 90 proof

It gets cold when all we have is smoke and embers
But with gratitude my ashy heart remembers
I'm not seeing any old flames

and my tears are proof
My tears are fireproof

Proof of concept
Proof of purchase
Proof I sometimes go to churches
just to try to find that good ol' milk and honey
Proof of life
Proof of the pudding
Proof exactly what I'm putting
in my mouth; that's where I'm holding all the money

If my article gets published on the tapir,
babe, you shouldn't have to read it in the paper
so I'll write it all to you, dear,
and my tears are proof
My tears are printed proof

I put on a front, occluded and inclement,
then the clouds dissolve and I turn bright and pleasant
you get all of my jets streaming
and my tears are proof
My tears are weather-proof
Proof of claim
Proof of coverage
Proof of residence, so suffrage
will be granted so that I can have a vote
Proof of work
Proof of submission
Proof of service and permission
slips so I can join my class and pet the goat

If you find my aim to be too low a caliber
try to pull me out this holster like Excalibur
I'll hold you in my firearms, babe,
and my tears are proof
My tears are bulletproof

I'm a flood that leads unfailingly to drought,
but I'll explain what all this ebb & flow's about:
Dam it, girl, your love rains o'er me,
and my tears are proof
My tears are waterproof
My tears are bulletproof
My tears are weatherproof
My tears are printed proof
My tears are fireproof
My tears are 90 proof

(15 January 2008; 30 March 2013)

~~~*****~~~

The Stand

I resent the recent allegations,
but I accept the exceptional pain
Ground into the ground in two dimensions
Did I mention the stain?
I sustain my objections

But your smile turns my reticence upside down
And your body of evidence brings me 'round

I reply with three-ply protestations,
strong enough to hold, but you just wipe
your nose until the world knows my frustrations
the libations are ripe
down the pipe my impatience

But your smile turns my reticence upside down
And your body of evidence brings me 'round

When you said that we should court
I didn't know I'd need to sport a J.D.
just to stay in contention
I'm content not to contend
but on the stand I can't pretend
and let this go unmentioned

I wish fulfillment policy
wouldn't get the best of me
or take me out of circulation.
Make the stand to take the fall
or it ain't no stand at all
Your honor is growing impatient

I'll refrain from refried revelation
reveling in revved-up rhetoric
Probably I'll probe your protestations
but it all seems so quick
and I'm sick of this station

Still your smile turns my reticence upside down
And your body of evidence brings me 'round

(2010 / 2013)


~~~*****~~~

Faint

It's a mystery to be
wrapped up in your faithless faith
In spite of all you threw at me
In a state of shocking grace

I hear you fading away
I see you growing more faint
I wish we had one more day
I feel like I'm gonna faint

Can you even see me cry?
Can you even hear me beg?
How I wish you wondered why
you still walk on restless legs

I hear you fading away
I see you growing more faint
I wish we had one more day
I feel like I'm gonna faint

You don't recognize me now
and the same goes for me too
but I'll try to show somehow
what I wish I knew you knew.

I hear you fading away
I see you growing more faint
I wish we had one more day
I feel like I'm gonna faint

(8 September 2010)

~~~*****~~~

I Call Shenanigans

I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you
You put a stake in my heart, and I don't know what to do
You rib me, then you fry me,
And then you cherry-pie me
I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you

When your mind's all over and it just doesn't matter
When your hash needs browning with a smother and scatter
When you're feeling chicken then it's time to fly
to where the smoothest operators are standing by

I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you
You're boilin' my blood and I'm all up in a stew
You egg me, then you cake me,
And then you shake and bake me
I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you

When you're feeling coughy with your teeth ink cold
Get in touch with where the magic touch is sold
The suburban burger is the size of a van
And the cranberry sauce will make you think you can

I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you
You put a stake in my heart, and I don't know what to do
You rib me, then you fry me,
And then you cherry-pie me
I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you
I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you
I call shenanigans whenever I'm with you

(27 April 2007; 1 June 2013)

~~~*****~~~

Prime

On our 71st anniversary
we'll be a hundred and five
triple the people we used to be
but no less alive
And I might forget the groceries
And I might forget your name
But you'll still be
the most to me
our love will be
the same, still in our prime

(29 September 2012)

~~~*****~~~

10-4 (instrumental)

~~~*****~~~

Be Nice To Me

You'd sell my clothes to play the lottery
Flood me with arguments so watery
Don't throw my heart like it was pottery
Be nice to me

If I should fail to heed your beck and call,
I fear you'd leave and then, I reckon, fall
in love with some rube with no neck at all
Be nice to me

Be nice to me in the sleepy morning
Be nice to me in the blinding daylight
Give your cold heart some global warming
And wouldn't it be nice to be naughty at night?

They say it's milk that does a body good
Not to be spanked with planks of knotty wood
I dearly wish you or somebody would
Be nice to me

I fail your every test so miserably
Ever bamboozled by your wizardry
Love's either icy or it's blizzardly
Be nice to me

But I've done my unfair share of being mean
Cranked up and cranky and a bit obscene
So how can I ask without coming clean
“Be nice to me”?

I'll be nice to you in the sleepy morning,
be nice to you in the blinding daylight
Give our cold hearts some global warming
And wouldn't it be nice to be naughty at night?

So while we have another half to play,
I hope that you will meet me half the way.
I'll try to never make you have to say
“Be nice to me.”

(25 April - 10 May 2011)

~~~*****~~~

All lyrics and music © Dolph Chaney 2013.
All rights reserved.
Play fair, and play loud.

For Zooey and Bailey.